I don't know if you have noticed, between Virat Kohli's breakup and the Amazon super-sale, but there has been a lot of violence of late. Most media persons and experts have screamed out against it, leading to a lowering of volume in TV remotes across the country. The coverage has been extensive- in many news programs, the screens have been hardly big enough to accommodate all the participants and channels have had to morph people whose views are similar- for example, the BJP, VHP and all the nation lovers, the Left and the loonies, and the Congress and the clueless.
In all the din, there is a disturbing consensus in the liberal media that somehow the brave lawyers who en masse came to take on the might of one Kanhaiya Kumar, are to blame.And if blame has to have a face, it has become V S Chauhan's, a face that has launched a thousand jurists. If you listen to the pundits (not the ones in your neighbourhood temple)- they say that he has instigated this assault. Mr. Chauhan, a man, who at any other time, would have been happy to sell you a lovely used scooter on discount along with his legal services- has been besieged with press men pestering him about politics. Little do they know, for they know little- but Mr. Chauhan and Mr. Sharma are flagbearers of Mr. Modi's other campaign- "Break in India". Unlike its more famous brethren "Make in India", Break in India works on the principle of using pure nationalistic forces to break the bones of all anti-nationalists. Break in India counters anti-nationalism, anarchy, and the festering problem of student's speeches that is plaguing the nation. Make in India may dream of golden rainbows, of soaring commerce, of riches- but Break in India, tackles head on our major problems, punches through the issues that bedevil us and kicks out the insidious influence of the youth.
Winston S. Churchill, the great nationalist, once said, "If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack". Judging by Mr. Chauhan's actions, he has a very very important point to make. Repeatedly. And to his credit, he does not shirk. When push comes to shove- and he does both, he comes out all punches flying, in his hard hitting avatar of the protector of India's freedom, nationalism and the Indian way of life. The press may give a shellacking to all- but not to Mr. Chauhan or Mr. Sharma or their band. They shall not be shellacked- they shall not be stilled by the anarchy of students and youngsters. They will rise (preferably after 9, if the night before was a little too much), they will march from Karolbag to Paharganj (with a chai-samosa break in between) and will storm the bastion of the lawless- the Delhi High Court.
But whilst the plight of the brave lawyers fills me with sympathy, as a fervent lover of our nation, I have to raise a few questions. The first one is whether in their zeal to teach the barbarous bacchas of JNU, they have missed an important constituency in the young generation that creates more anarchy than anyone else. I refer to the kindergarteners and the pre-schoolers. Ask any teacher in any school, and they will tell you, that the most unruly, the largest slogan shouting hordes are in Upper KG and downwards. Little Ritwick does not merely scream for milk, he screams for Azaadi all the time, even if it is to go to the loo. I knew a girl named Hansika, who would boo at all things (and I presume, that would include the nation) and another girl named Ruchi who'd vomit everyday- on other people's shirts, on the table cloths, the duster and I am assuming, on the national fabric, if she had been brought close to it. The lawyers can still redress this omission from their spate of super-nationalism but it would need swift action. Summer vacations are coming and soon there will be no children in the schools and it will be logistically very difficult for lawyers to go to every house and try to beat up the child. There may be an accompanying problem, that if they do not go in sufficient numbers, they may get beaten up by the stridently anti-nationalistic parents.
Another way in which they can proceed, now that they are marching towards pure nationalistic nirvana, is to consider their targets carefully. They have been battling terrorists in JNU and New Delhi and amongst the press and the people- but that supply may dwindle. You may find that the student that you were beating to pulp was not a terrorist but an undergraduate of Political Science, who if you had waited for a few years, would anyway have been beaten up by society, and would have wandered around jobless till he'd decide to hang himself under the statue of Che Guevera. And dear lawyers, while I admire your zeal- you need to conserve your strength. Punching the press is purposeless. You beat one and the next thing you know is an entire bunch has come to film that beating.
So I tell you, consider, my dear countrymen, consider. The next logical step to fighting terrorism is to take that short trip to the glaciers of Siachen and the valleys of PoK and call on the Lakshar e Toiba. Trust me, you will not have to worry about who the terrorists are- all of them will be. You can fight them to your heart's content. You can demonstrate the true blue nationalistic spirit that courses your veins (and indeed, if you find yourself unable to do so, they will soon oblige). So I say to you- go forward, my friends, go and show them the strength of Bharat Mata. As a fellow nationalist myself, I shall clap you on from my couch in Bangalore and wait to be inspired!
